What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
09.06.2025 06:07
I had hoped to write a book about this .
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Why do some people believe that Homelander would be no match for Superman or Thor?
She wouldn,t have been !
I was scared of men, in general
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Can supporters of gun control explain the purpose behind a gun registry?
I know ,a lot about trauma.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Kquorans, can you please write a story?
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Becky Lynch wins the Intercontinental title at Money in the Bank - Cageside Seats
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
What did i know ?
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Enhanced Box Score: Cubs 2, Reds 0 – May 31, 2025 - Bleacher Nation
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I have no regrets .
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
‘Stick’: Apple’s Golf Comedy Scores on the Charms of Owen Wilson - Rolling Stone
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
How is sex in college like with roommates and big campuses?
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I was 9 years of age.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
It was going to be , some day.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
The #1 Snack for Better Gut Health, Recommended by a Gastroenterologist - AOL.com
When she asked me how she looked .
Put me off passion for life!!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
What’s up in the sky for June 2025? Arietid meteor shower, strawberry moon and much more - WTOP
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
They are buried together, in the same grave..
He knew the spot.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
So, i spoilt her more .
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Im still living with it.
I was seconnd youngest,
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Comes on , in middle age.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I will be 64.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I never cut or harmed myself..
But ive been too sick for many years..
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I said to her
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Why did i forgive my father ?
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Would this be the day?
On the 31st of Jan this month .
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I write beautiful poetry .
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
But it wasn’t much.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
This is soul school!.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
She was in good health!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
One cannot live in the past .
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I think the readers, may guess!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
All the time i was locked up.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
(And it was in our own minds.)
I don,t even have a pension.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
My life is so biszare .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
He resisted the act ,that day.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
She found it foreign!.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Who then, do I blame.?
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
She married twice! .
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I waited trembling.
I was very sick at this time too.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I could never make a relationship work though!
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
We were not on the streets..
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
She loved him until the end.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
But, we were locked up after school.
We all went to grammer schools
Ive learnt so much.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Was to survive, this bastard.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
And i lived it daily.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
So whats the point in blame.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
My family never makes their pension either.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
This is how, and why children get BPD.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Especially a lifetime of it.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.